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Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat…
Please put a penny in the old man’s hat. If you haven’t got a penny then a half penny will do. If you haven’t got a half penny, then Buddha bless you. I love the spirit of Christmas…giving gifts, gathering with family, friends and making a chilly winter day feel campfire warm. This is one holiday that…
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Pie in your face
I am not a crook, a communist, or a crackpot. I am not a poet, a hero, or a star. I am just a girl who’s hosting Thanksgiving and this year, my guests are in for a surprise. Turkey didn’t make it on my A list … it’s so been there, done that. Therefore, I’m…
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My Husband’s Secret Weapon
Let’s get real, it’s not always the thought that counts. A bad gift is sometimes worse than nothing at all. It can leave the recipient wondering what about this so called present said “me?” One of my wedding gifts was a whimsical candle display that resembled a Ferris wheel. It had hearts all over and best of…
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The Rock
The night that my father died, I had a dream that I was having a verbal arm wrestle with Keith Richards. It didn’t make any sense that my Dad, Kevin James Butler was gone and Keith was hanging out stoned off his gourd. In the dream, I was in Keith’s kitchen, watching him prepare bangers-and-mash. I was like,…
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Confession of a cheese slut
I was raised with the motto: “We’ll be fine as long as we have each other and our snacks“. Yes, I have high cholesterol, but that won’t stop me from making my life more delicious! I’m going to blame this all on my DNA. I simply can’t stop my cheese and cracker cravings because my body…
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Maddollz!
My sophisticated friend Moni, may be all grown up, but this hasn’t stopped her from playing with dolls. Monica Tolczyk, a highly regarded packaging designer and partner of Mint design firm has a side gig that’s worth a glance! Moni creates custom Barbie type dolls, housed inside a real package that’s accessorized with all sorts of goodies. The doll is…
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I wish I was a Laser Cat
Sometimes I wish that I could kill someone just by blinking my eyes. Tonight, while riding the Blue Line, I would have destroyed the couple who stared at me, made out like sluts, and engaged in stupid conversation. I normally have a little fun eavesdropping, but not on this! The girl was overly dressed Urban Outfitters style with…
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Smack talk!
It’s about to get ugly with Da’ Bears vs. the down and dirty Packers playing far from nice tomorrow! Chicagoans are ready to see the Bears shake up the bad guys and stomp them into stinky cheese submission. I can hardly wait! Here are my rules for enjoying a safe, fun, sleaze free game. RULE NUMBER ONE: IF…
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Scary shit.
I was watching a scary movie alone on Saturday night when a real terrifying experience happened at home. No, the phone didn’t ring with some creep on the line saying,”Hey hottie, I’m watching you get drunk and scratch your butt.” A zombie didn’t knock on my door and ask for sugar. And I didn’t doze…
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It’s mine!
Gangs of trixie bitches charged into Target stores with fangs out and oversized bags to bang on the heads, Ruth Buzzie style, of anyone that dare get in their way. The lucky whores who scored Missoni looked stoned, with frozen smile faces, sweaty brows, and a hyperventilated sense of success. Mobs of Botoxed brats who…