Pie in your face

I am not a crook, a communist, or a crackpot. I am not a poet, a hero, or a star. I am just a girl who’s hosting Thanksgiving and this year, my guests are in for a surprise. Turkey didn’t make it on my A list … it’s so been there, done that. Therefore,  I’m bucking tradition and turning my guests on to lobster pot pies and more decadent yums. Why not?

Besides the obvious, “Because I can,” I feel an urge to change my predictable and tragic life. I fear that if I sit down to the same old delicious, gravy, potato, stuffing, and etc, Turkey dinner, I will burst into a fit of tears. I need a change. I believe that change starts with a fantasy. So, I’ll summarize my idea of the perfect Sans-Turkey Day.

Last year's more traditional setting will be getting a much needed rest.

Thanksgiving would include someone to massage my back, feed me grapes, rub my feet and buy me presents, This servant of gratitude would  leave a bag full of money under my pillow. At sunset, I would go horse back riding through my vineyard with all my loved ones. We would drink champagne, and I would loose 15 lbs. I would be wearing a Stella McCartney dress, Prada riding boots and a Hermes scarf.

Dinner would be served in my meadow. Wildlife creatures would captivate us with their delightful curiosity.  I would have several (faux) fur blankets set up for a picnic near my babbling brook. We would eat by candlelight from giant candelabrum and lanterns that swung from my lovely Willow tree. Snoop Dog would début his new CD live and would pass around a giant joint. When we were all really high, a giant Scooby Doo balloon would soar above us and extend a ladder, so that we could all climb up and ride around New York and wave at everyone watching the Thanksgiving parade. We would toss silver dollars at spectators and several people would go to the hospital from getting clanked on the head.

The Menu: (Drinks include, hot spiced Whiskey cider, Champagne cocktail, sparking water)


Pate and toast points

Oysters on the half-shell


Apple slices with herbed brie (warm)

Pears wrapped in prosciutto (warm)

Gorgonzola polenta with candied bacon (hot)

Lobster pot pie (sexy)

Truffled tater-tots (hell yeahs!)

Arugula, fennel, pomegranate, shaved parmesan salad (eat it, or you won’t get dessert!)


Double Decker Cake with Pies

Layer one, chocolate cake, with pumpkin pie inside, Layer two, Vanilla cake with apple pie inside. Frosted with butternut vanilla.


The menu is concrete, but the setting will be in Berwyn, at my humble estate. I do have some Scooby snacks,  so who knows, we may wind up in my fantasy! I plan to wrap my dinning room table in craft paper and have glasses full of crayons, so guests can draw, It’ll be a Big Kids Table, I also plan to use bittersweet generously with my decor because, frankly, this has been a bittersweet year. Time to switch gears and have some fun!

  • Sixftwarbler

    I’ll have what she’s having… and super-size it!

  • Michelle

    So excited!

  • Brian

    “Thanksgiving would include someone to massage my back, feed me grapes, rub my feet and buy me presents, This servant of gratitude would leave a bag full of money under my pillow.”

    Um, wouldn’t that servant be known as Greg?

    • erin

      Greg cooked everything! I made that tater-tots, but he even helped me with those. This was the best meal I’ve ever had!

  • Adyingeye

    Right on! Happy cooking and eating!